


A Snake!

by Tea_is_Not_Them



Series: Outside Perspectives of Good Omens [5]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Female-Presenting Aziraphale (Good Omens), Other, POV Outsider, Snake Crowley (Good Omens), What Gender is Crowley Today?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24226882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tea_is_Not_Them/pseuds/Tea_is_Not_Them
Summary: Aziraphale goes to church and she is accosted by church women. What is that?!
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Outside Perspectives of Good Omens [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747156
Comments: 11
Kudos: 194





	A Snake!

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS FUNNY AS HELL TO ME

The church goer smiled at the woman in the church. She was new, Madrid noticed. With short blond hair and bright blue eyes, she wore a nice buttoned up shirt and beige pants. No man stood next to her, Madrid told her husband. She looked around forty, maybe fifties if they shot upwards. Her hair barely touched the top of her ears, and she always kept a quiet manner, not really talking with anyone if she could help it.

Her name was Azira, and that was all she had told anyone as she sat in the pews and smiled like the air gave her joy by being there. She sits up straight, and prayed with people silently. People who talked to her felt like they had more energy afterwards. She was really sweet, no matter with how little she talked to anyone. She never stayed long after church.

Madrid had finally got the woman before she left, she hadn’t cornered her as that would have been rude, but she had made sure she could talk with the new woman at church. Madrid was a woman who loved to know everything about her people at church. So far she hadn't gotten any bad vibes from the middle-aged woman who sat in the back and stayed far far away from baptisms. 

“Hello! You’re Azira right? I’m Madrid. You’re new to the church.” Madrid introduced, her husbands was only feet away, talking with the priest. They were most likely talking about little things of unimportant origin. Her husband did make sure no one tried to be break in during service. 

Azira looked a bit uncomfortable, he blue eyes moving around as she looked at the stained glass windows, “Hullo dear. Nice to meet you.”

Madrid was ready to glean any information, she wasn't a gossip she swears! “So? Are you new to town?”

“Uh yes, I just moved to the cottage down the way.” She makes a vague gesture towards the area of her residence. Her nails were perfectly manicured, and had a cute little eye motif on each of them. 

“Oh! Did you move with your husband? How are you liking it here?” Her husband now was beside her, looking a little bored, but not making any moves to hurry his wife up. He knew her curiosity was huge and insatiable. 

“Uh, yes it’s a nice place here. Lovely little church, I feel very close to Her.” The her was capitalized, and Azira’s hands fidgeted. She looked a little worried. Madrid's husband wondered why the woman spoke of God as if God were a she, but he speculated that she may be just a little eccentric. Nothing wrong with that. 

Madrid notices she had avoided the other question, and she, being the curious soul asked, “Living with anyone?”

“My partner yes. I really must be going.” 

And suddenly something poked out of the woman cleavage. A small black snake poked it’s head from where it had been laying and Madrid screamed. The blonde chuckled nervously, her eyes scared looking. She pushed the snake down and said very loudly.

“Are you alright?”

“Why is there a snake in your breasts?!” Madrid’s husband yelled, and the churchgoers that hadn't left were now staring at the scene. The newcomer held a hand to her chest, most likely hiding the snake, Madrid was holding a hand to her mouth as she stared. Madrid's husband looked down where the hand of the newcomer's lay on her cleavage.

“Why are you looking?” Azira said primly before turning heel and walking away. Madrid swears she can hear the blond say something to the snake. 

“Really my dear you couldn't wait for five more minutes!” And there was a distinct hissing. 

Madrid now believes in witches.

And the woman with a snake in her breast did not come back for service again.


End file.
